The flowers and trees are bursting open. It's been a long time since I've seen Spring like this. Los Angeles has color, but it's different from the East Coast Spring I was used to growing up. All of this color and abundance reminds me that life will go on.
I go to the Wellness Center near me with some real trepidation. The night before my appointment I looked the doctor up on-line and found a bunch of negative reviews. I was torn as to whether or not I should even go to the appointment the next day. My mom says, "let's make our own decisions and form our own opinions." So we go, and I am glad we do. Dr. B. spends 2 hours with us and he is the most informed doc I have met with thus far. He has read over my history and through all of my lab tests, he explains things to me on my lab work that no one else has, (he tells me my thryoid is slightly elevated, but no one had mentioned this to me at all) and he decides to do 2 tests that I wish I had done a year ago; the C6 peptide test as well as the PCR test. He says he is going to send these to MDL in New Jersey. MDL is known for more sensitive criteria with the lyme testing (like Igenex which is on the West Coast). Dr. B. explains to me in detail also what this "sensitive testing" even means. I wish that Dr. Savior had done these tests in August of last year. Dr. B. explains to me also that even with these tests/more sensitive criteria my results could still be negative. He also looks at my ANA counts and asks about lupus. I explain that I was treated for lupus for about 6 months with no real improvement. It was only when I went on the antibiotic doxycyline that I felt real positive changes. He looks at my white blood cell count, which was a 2.2 on my last Dr. Saviour test, and says he, too, won't treat me further until a hematologist looks at that. He also says that if he treats me and puts me on iv antibiotics, he won't put me on Rocephin (kind of the standard for iv antibiotic treatment), knowing that I am susceptible to a low white blood cell count. Dr. Savior had also decided the same thing. If I go back to him, he says he won't put me on doxycycline again, but most likely Cipro.
KG and I go to see Dr. K., a hematologist. He takes blood and gives me the results immediately. My white blood cell count is now at a 4.4, and all of my other cell counts look normal. He feels that my fluctuating white blood cell count is due to the heavy doses of antibiotics. He gives me a clean bill of health (blood cell count wise), and says he also recommends I do not go back on doxycycline again. KG is in the appointment with me, and he now knows more about my physical health than any other man I've been with. The things he has heard and dealt with in the few short months we've been together makes it feel like we've been together longer (like in dog years). I tell him how much I appreciate his patience and support, but he shrugs it off, saying, "you'd do the same for me." It is interesting to me how illness has allowed me to do something I never seemed to be able to master before in relationships; to be myself. I don't have the energy to put up any kind of facade, or to pretend to be someone I am not to make a relationship work. It is a revelation.
The tests results will come back at the Wellness Center in about a week, so I will know more then. There is part of me that is praying I will have a positive test result so I can stop questioning what is wrong with me and get on with aggressive treatment and be done with it. And if the test is negative? I don't know yet.
