Friday, April 12, 2013

I.V. Antibiotics, Cancer

I do my first round of i.v. rocephin. I wait until I am in a flare, the theory being that the lyme cycles in a four week cycle and that is when I'm getting sick. My left eye always gets sticky and itchy and that's how I know a flare is coming. So when it happens I go to the doctor the next day and have a photo oxidation session first, then the i.v. antibiotics. I do that for 6 days in a row. I don't get sick. We might be onto something. I don't herx either. I'm thinking I don't herx because of the photo oxidation. I have a ton of energy too, also from the photo ox. Waiting to see what happens during the next flare. We are going to double the amount of antibiotics and see what happens. But I am all in because it intuitively makes sense to me. Why would I douse my body in antibiotics when I am asymptomatic? Pulsing seems to be the right fit for me.

A few days after treatment I have a day that throws me back to how I felt in the beginning, with incapacitating depression. Depression is depressing. I am so depressed in my body that I can't function. I do everything I know of to help myself...B12 shots, do yoga, eat healthy, drink green tea and watch a funny video. But it is so heavy it crushes me. I cry all day. This is the element of this illness that is hard for those who never had it to understand. The bacteria is in the BRAIN. It messes with your emotional center. So while there are debilitating physical symptoms, some days there are emotional ones; anxiety, irritability, soul crushing depression. I think I have this bad day because of the strong treatment I just did and it is essentially a herx.

 On another note entirely... I still can't believe that I'm typing the word cancer. It is completely surreal to me. I stand by my conviction that I got a tumor in my breast because my body couldn't fight off the cancer in it's current depleted state. With severe adrenal fatigue and constant inflammation from the tick borne disease my body didn't stand a chance. I think the photo oxidation is not only helping with the bacteria, viruses and candida, but also from a cancer perspective by boosting my immune system. What a mess. In terms of cancer news I did get good news. I do not have a genetic mutation and my tumor level is a 1. So it's not aggressive. It IS estrogen receptor positive. So now there is a discussion of me going off of my estrogen cream and going on tamoxifen (a drug that blocks estrogen). This makes me really frustrated because I finally got my hormones and moods relatively stable with the estrogen and progesterone cream. It's all pretty stressful. See above paragraph on depression.

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