Sunday, November 1, 2009
Respite from pain - November 2009
I am driving home from a trip to New York City for Halloween. It is the third day of my period which, for the past year, has made me bedridden. Today however, I am driving down the New Jersey Turnpike after a fun night out in my favorite city. The sun is setting and making the yellow leaves on the trees that line the highway glow. I am crying because I am so grateful that I am not sick, that my body feels good, that nothing hurts. I am crying because my soul feels like it has come back into my body and that the pain that took over and made me disappear behind it has left.
I am watching E! Entertainment and there is a one hour special on about celebs and plastic surgery. It details some of the dangers of it and plastic surgery gone wrong. There are women who have had nose jobs and they are lying in bed in pain. I am having a hard time feeling sympathetic for them. After what my body has been through, I cannot imagine making the choice to make myself feel bad for vanity's sake. Having lived in LA as an actress and having gone to many auditions, I know what if feels like to not measure up. Before I got sick I might have entertained the idea of a little botox here and there, but now, I want to honor my body and be much less hard on what I see.
Today I take my last antibiotic. I have no idea what is in store for my body. I am trying to be positive and hope that the medicine that has been in me for 2 months will have gotten rid of the bacteria that made me so sick.
I have decided to organize a support group in my neighborhood for lyme patients. I have also decided to organize a screening of the film, Under Our Skin.