I see Dr. B #1, much sooner than I had anticipated. He tells me, AGAIN, my lyme tests are negative. But, again, this time I also have a positive test for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. He feels this could be a false positive though, and takes blood today to check that. My test for Q Fever has gone from a 1:128 to a 1:32, so he feels that it's most likely leaving my system. I am to be tested for that again in 2 weeks. Between the therapist, Dr. B., weekly blood tests, paperwork etc, I sometimes feel like taking care of my health could be a full time job! If only I could get paid...
I see the allergist/immunologist Dr. A. She is also my nephew's doctor. This is a follow up for the allergist I saw a week ago.
Dr. A. is a woman and she is one of the best docs I have seen. She is compassionate and really listens to my history. She tests me for food allergies, and I find out I have none! Although she does say that just because I don't have a food "allergy" that doesn't mean I don't have an intolerance to some foods. She gives me some new and interesting answers as to why I could still be having such severe neck pain at ovulation. She tells me that she has female patients who are asthma sufferers, and that for some of them their asthma is much worse at ovulation. So she says she agrees that I could be having a flare in the symptoms during ovulation, and wonders herself what the hormonal connection could be. Another theory she puts out there is that possibly the Q Fever bacteria has settled in my neck, and during ovulation my system is weakened further and I thus see a flare.
I have a tentative date for a screening of the lyme disease film, Under Our Skin, at the end of September. The county I live in, Delaware County PA, is underrepresented in the lyme community, but being that we are in Southeastern PA we are part of the area that is the hardest hit by lyme disease. Even if I save one family or person from the pain and frustration I have experienced, it will be worth it.
I hear a Killers song and "Yellow" by Coldplay on the radio in my car, both of which remind me of my life in Los Angeles. The five years I was there are starting to feel like a dream to me. The songs make me melancholy and I find myself crying off and on for a couple of days. I wonder if, now that I am finally on the road to health, I have the space in my heart to mourn who I was in that life. Even though LA was hard often, there were good times and it always seemed exciting because I was in the city in which I could fulfill my dreams. Right now though, I still feel like I am a spectator in life. Friends are moving, buying houses, getting married and pregnant. I feel like I'm standing still and everyone is moving forward around me. And while I am thrilled that my friends are pregnant and can't wait to share in their joy, it is hard because I truly don't know what having Q fever and going through what I have means for my reproductive future. I don't even think my doctor knows what to tell me, and that is scary!
